…until I turned 30… and this post is not headed where you think… read on 😉
now you must understand, this was a phenomena of the late 90’s and early 00’s… that dates me at about the ages of 19-23 at the time the sex and the city craze took over the airwaves and minds of women everywhere. I’d cringe every time I heard references of martini’s and cosmos, jimmy choo’s or manolo’s. What substance did any of these references hold? In my eyes, not a damn thing… I called it brain wash. At the time I had a guy friend who was dating a very high maintenance girl… He would get very annoyed at the fact that all she wanted to do was live this “sex and the city” lifestyle. When I look back now, I think he was annoyed because her desire over powered his own desire to live his version of this life in the fast lane. I see now that jealousy manifests itself in different ways. Ha! Retrospect is a son of a bitch!
Anyways, back to the point… I never understood “sex and the city”, until I turned 30. I was sitting with a group of friends watching TV and there it was, a marathon of my most “favorite” show. Then it happened… I got sucked in. Hard and fast. I looked over to my besty best and said OMG WHAT HAVE I BEEN MISSING OUT ON. After I watched about 4 hours during a Florida thunderstorm of what I like to refer to as the “Sex and the City” highlights reel it hit me. I understood why I hated the idea of it when I was 19/20 and I loved the idea of it in my 30s. I now had enough life under my belt (figuratively and literally) to relate to the lives of Carrie and her BFFs. The show was about the fundamentals of basic human relationships. The bond between a group of friends, the angst of trying to connect to a person romantically. The pain of loving unconditionally. BUT it wasn’t until I was introduced to the idea of Big that I truly decided that YES… I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SHOW and would in the future dedicate many Sunday afternoons to E! or Style watching marathons that were more like the Carrie Cliff Notes. I found myself excited at the idea of what a woman goes through not only to find her soul mate but to keep meaningful friendships and relationships alive. I was not invested in the individual characters as much as their experiences and the ideas these experiences brought to the table.
Now it being valentine’s day I thought it’d be appropriate to lightly deconstruct this relationship of Carrie and Big. Mostly b/c I am a sentimental fool and romantic at heart.
Big made me nostalgic. He brought my mind and heart to a place I thought it left behind. He made me think about someone who I realized was MY Big. That person who always seems to be doing other things but never leaves you at peace. Always far but close at the same time. This guy we’ve all had in our lives. You may still have him lingering in the distance, or you may have got the timing finally right and are with him now. All in all, though, he was the one that haunted you, guided your decisions, made you do questionable things just for the sake of spending moments together. You listened to his voice-mails because you were afraid to pick up when he randomly looked for you. Sometimes you picked up right away because you knew nothing would be better at that moment than to hear his voice. You were once his one and only, and you were once the other woman, and you were once his best friend and you were once enemies. Through all this, though, you were always in love, just never got the timing right. Well if this man exists for you… there is a reason, you just need to figure it out. La vida te da sorpresas…let it take you where it needs to go. On this Valentine’s Day, love from your gut and the depths of your soul. Put your heart out there, love on a whim or take a leap of faith… OR just be still in that love and reflect on it if you can’t be with your sweetheart.