About Me

I live free, free of negativity, free of what ifs, free of regrets. I live in dreams, I live in love, I live in now. I reside in a nook of positivity, hopeless romanticism, and far fetched notions. I sleep somewhere in between the color red and next to the idea of a “you”. I am reckless, and chase my dreams. I am not afraid of failure, or the moral of the story.


I Think of You in Three Languages…

Quando falo de você

Falo palavras bonitos

Falo palavras feio

Palavras de paixao

Palavras de raiva

Falo palavras de saudades

Meus pensamentos são assombrados com a sua cara,

Com suas mãos no meu quadris

Quando pienso de você

I think in English

E português

Te recuerdo en español

Recuerdo todo el dolor

I don’t know what is up or down anymore

Or if what I feel is sadness or relief

Talvez sinto alegria saber

como fui amar-te

This isn’t goodbye,

More like

‘till we meet again…otra vez

infinte cycle…

saudades sempre…

fico ainda só.


fico sua, even though

Eu penso…

Tudo tem seu lugar e seu final

Mas sempre ficarei ao seu lado

No seu coração

No seu beijo

No suas memórias em branco e preto


Com um filtro de suas idéias contra minha ideias

Você ficará meu furacão

Meu amor…

uma tormenta com milhões ventos

Frio e quente/quente e frio

Um dia me ama e outros me queima

fico amando-te


She made me strong. She showed me love. I don’t know exactly how, but she did. Maybe it’s because I saw her go through more than one perfect soul should have to go through in a lifetime. A short lifetime. Cancer is a killer, but it took a long time to take her. She was too precious, and I loved her–no, I love her, still, with all my heart. She stays alive within me. When I am going through a tough time I just think of her, she is there when I catch the subtle smell of the perfume she used to wear in the air.

I remember when she would sit me down and make me eat vegetables. She knew I didn’t like them and she couldn’t stand to see me squirm, but she would place the bowl in the palm of her hand and wrap her small fingers around the fork and beg me.

She showed me love, and made me strong by making me eat peas and broccoli.

She would make carrot cake every time I visited. She knew I loved the smell. I’d walk into the kitchen and she would smile, her cheeks blushed from the heat of the oven. 

Then she would grab my face and rub her little nose against mine. I felt her love through Eskimo kisses. 

I would cry for my mom some nights and she would climb into my bed smelling of Vicks and soothe me to sleep. She made me strong by letting me cry.

She was always in and out of sickness, but never down. In and out of treatment, but never in pain. In and out of my life, but never out of reach. She made me strong by being alive. Somehow, after years and years, cancer finally found a way to take her. I didn’t know. She didn’t tell me. She just died. She made me strong by not saying goodbye. She showed me love through Eskimo kisses.

Whimsical Thing 

I want to be this whimsical thing with dainty art on my body…

A cute haircut…

A killer clavicle.

I want to be this whimsical thing with a great sense of humor…

A love of eclectic things…

A passion for you.

I want to be this whimsical thing that can take your breath away with a kiss…

This whimsical thing that you love but you can’t figure out why…

This whimsical thing that you can’t bear to leave.

Beer and Doughnuts. Vodka and Tomatoes.

This post is about friends.

I have been very lucky in my life to have very long lasting friendships.  Some have been around since childhood and others high school, but what I have learned as I got older is that longevity doesn’t mean friendship… compassion, understanding, and the willingness to go along with your friend’s insane ideas… that is friendship.

Non-judgmental and unconditional… filled with obscenity, inappropriate behavior, and incriminating pictures. These are the things that comprise a bond that will last forever, and not only because those pictures can ruin you.


The company you keep affects your life on so many levels and even some you may not realize.  Surround yourself with negative people, some aspects of your own life will take that quality.  The key is…Trim the fat.  Re-examine the people you allow in your inner circle, your safe space.  How do they help you and how do they hurt you…


Compartmentalize.  You have your ride or die friends, you have all seen each other naked at some point… you have ridiculous inside jokes no one else would understand… you’ve been in situations with them that you would never dare speak of again… they know your inner most deepest secrets. You fart in front of each other. These people are forever.


You have your hang out friends… your weekend warriors… you drink hard Friday night and immediately call them Saturday morning for recon to make sure those hours you can’t remember weren’t totally embarrassing. Drinking buddies that you think twice about before sending out that “what are you up to?” text for fear you may not make it home until Monday.  They’ve occasionally held your hair back and/or cleaned vomit off of you at some point in time.  This of course you will never remember.


Then there is just everyone else.


Now to the point… never underestimate yourself or let people make you feel like less of a person.  I learned very quickly that the “friends” I thought were real because of longevity, really were just fillers for my life.  Filling in the blanks to certain points in time where they functioned.  While my REAL and TRUE friends were waiting in the background.  These filler friends were self-fish… only needed you around to fulfill their needs (emotional or otherwise).  They came with judgments and haterism (not a word but you know what I’m saying!)  Some were around to use and abuse, some sucking the energy right out of you with their insecurities.  Moral is REAL friends don’t do this.  REAL friends are fighting the battles and telling the jokes in the trenches with you… not in the sidelines judging your battle plans.


My life became more fulfilled when I finally realized who these people in my life were.  I dropped the negativity that was around me and began to prosper in a way that I didn’t think possible.  I became the better version of me, just because I know that these friends (who really have become my brothers and sisters) accept me the way I am, support even my craziest ideas whole-heartedly, and love me with no conditions.


If you have these people in your life, always let them know you are aware of their awesomeness, because these friendships don’t happen all the time in a world where each man is usually about his own agenda.


Beer and Doughnuts.Vodka and Tomatoes. (this is one of those nonsensical inside jokes we share)