Gloria 

She made me strong. She showed me love. I don’t know exactly how, but she did. Maybe it’s because I saw her go through more than one perfect soul should have to go through in a lifetime. A short lifetime. Cancer is a killer, but it took a long time to take her. She was too precious, and I loved her–no, I love her, still, with all my heart. She stays alive within me. When I am going through a tough time I just think of her, she is there when I catch the subtle smell of the perfume she used to wear in the air.

I remember when she would sit me down and make me eat vegetables. She knew I didn’t like them and she couldn’t stand to see me squirm, but she would place the bowl in the palm of her hand and wrap her small fingers around the fork and beg me.

She showed me love, and made me strong by making me eat peas and broccoli.

She would make carrot cake every time I visited. She knew I loved the smell. I’d walk into the kitchen and she would smile, her cheeks blushed from the heat of the oven. 

Then she would grab my face and rub her little nose against mine. I felt her love through Eskimo kisses. 

I would cry for my mom some nights and she would climb into my bed smelling of Vicks and soothe me to sleep. She made me strong by letting me cry.

She was always in and out of sickness, but never down. In and out of treatment, but never in pain. In and out of my life, but never out of reach. She made me strong by being alive. Somehow, after years and years, cancer finally found a way to take her. I didn’t know. She didn’t tell me. She just died. She made me strong by not saying goodbye. She showed me love through Eskimo kisses.

Whimsical Thing 

I want to be this whimsical thing with dainty art on my body…

A cute haircut…

A killer clavicle.

I want to be this whimsical thing with a great sense of humor…

A love of eclectic things…

A passion for you.

I want to be this whimsical thing that can take your breath away with a kiss…

This whimsical thing that you love but you can’t figure out why…

This whimsical thing that you can’t bear to leave.

THAT love…

I want that ugly love 

That messy love

That sloppy love

That love that you don’t even know it’s love

Until it’s too late love 

I want that love that punches you in the gut 

Grabs you by the throat

And pulls out your vocal cords love 

that love that leaves you speechless love

That leaves you breathless love

I want that love that you hear on the radio 

That one song that never gets old

That love you smell on your pillowcase

The kind that you know was worth the chase

I want that dirty love 

That gritty love

That love that stays up all night 

When you’re feeling shitty love

That love that stays up all night 

Making me feel pretty love

I want the way that I walk to remind you of 

that love

I want the way that you play with my hair to remind me of 

that love

I want to sink into that love every night 

As we fall asleep.

That love that remains trapped inside tangled legs 

and too many blankets 

I want that sweet love

That dream love

That truth love, that surreal love

That make my heart beat real love

That love that you don’t even know its love

Until it’s too late 

love